Movie Review: Operation Nutcracker

Four stars: Not good. Sad face.

When a movie has the word “operation” in the title, it’s usually a sure bet that it will have some sort of detailed, military-style plan at the center of its plot. Not this movie. The operation is “let’s go look for a guy named Dave and keep missing him, because he has our nutcracker.”

In order for a charity ball to make enough money to build a new hospital wing, the nice rich folks are auctioning off an antique nutcracker. Yes, whatever someone will bid on this nutcracker will build an entire hospital in Boston. It’s so fancy in fact that it’s brought to Boston in a plain-Jane carry-on bag on a commercial flight. Oh, yeah, and it’s just wrapped in a towel—not locked case for protection. Oh, and our dopey leading man allows the bag to be checked and loses it. Yeah, this movie plot is not great.

A few things to watch for if you want to give it a go.

• The fake beard on our leading man in the first act of the movie

• The random men (I counted three) who are dancing/swaying alone in the final dance scene

• On the nose mentions of meet-cute and rom-coms

• Why is Ashley Newbrough always single? She seems so nice.

Cast Kudos: Nobody really stands out, but it’s interesting that Patrice Goodman and Darryl Hinds (Dave) both were secondary players in ‘Twas the Date Before Christmas. Which aired on Hallmark the weekend before this nutty movie.

Alternative Titles: What happens when you don’t use luggage tags; Hospital wings don’t cost a thing; Where’s Dave?; How to lose a Nutcracker in 7 days.

Aired: Oct. 25 on Hallmark. Watched Oct. 24.

Movie Review: Scouting for Christmas

Six Stars: Solid. Could be better.

Full disclosure—I was going to skip this one, but I’m glad I didn’t. Scouting for Christmas was a charming non-traditional family story. It didn’t break new ground but was perfectly enjoyable.

Ten-year-old Brooklyn (Audrey Wise Alvarez) is a Sunny Scout and loves baked goods and the guy who bakes them, Sir Bakes-A-Bunch, William (Carlo Marks). Brooklyn’s single mom Angela (Tamera Mowry-Housley), is a busy real estate agent who doesn’t like asking for help. She shows up late to things, which is apparently her worst quality as a human. Other than that, she’s pretty great.

Brooklyn and Angela enlist Sir Bakes-A-Bunch to audition to be the caterer/goodie table guy for the Sunny Scout holiday ball. The relationship building centers around that story line.

We also meet Dakota (James Paladino) who is Brooklyn’s dad, but I’m convinced he is 75% Philadelphia Phillies slugger Bryce Harper. Look him up, you’ll see it too.

The meanie is Den Mom Elizabeth (Jaycie Dotin). She is easy to root against in all things. She’s judgy and snooty to a “working” mom who can’t possibly be a good mom, work and show up to things on time.

This is set in Washington state. They keep showing images of snowy Seattle. That’s not really a thing. We have other cities here, too. Maybe visit Leavenworth if you need a snowy Washington town. Also, nobody here has ever said “tri-state area,” if anything they would say, “the Northwest” which covers Oregon, Washington and Idaho. Also, we drink coffee (home of Starbucks), not tea.

Funniest line: When Brooklyn is asked what she wants for Christmas, she replies that she wants her dad to come home and her mom to be fun. Brooklyn’s friend replies, “Whoa. That’s deep. I want an electric scooter.”

Cast Kudos: Brooklyn (Audrey Wise Alvarez). She’s a very good child actor who is really the driving force of the whole movie.

Alternative Titles: Those who bake a lot, love a lot; Sunny Scout Ball;  A baker for Christmas; Christmas Matchmaker Meritt Badge

Originally aired on Hallmark Channel: Oct. 20. Watched: Oct. 26

Movie Review: Holiday Crashers is one janky movie

Five stars: Nope. Background noise only

Two women who work at an “invitation store” (apparently that’s a thing) decide to steal leftover invitations and crash extremely elaborate holiday parties a few times because they think their lives are going nowhere. The party crashing isn’t even a main theme in the film. It just happens to be a thing they do. I am not recommending this movie, therefore this review contains spoilers.

Lyndsy Fonseca plays Toni, a law school grad, who had a panic attack when taking the Bar Exam and did not become a lawyer (yet). She lives with her invitation store co-worker and bestie Bri, played to perfection by Daniella Monet. Bri likes to organize and give advice–I guess that’s her talent.. 

Toni meets up with Justin (Chris McNally), who is the CEO of an investment company which apparently only has just one lawyer, one office and five or so actual employees.  Toni and Justin, despite being model worthy folks, have absolutely no chemistry. Why do they like each other? What thing in Toni makes Justin a better man? What thing that Justin has, makes Toni change her ways. No growth. No good. I could go on about this storyline, but I just didn’t buy it. She’s a fake lawyer and it’s the end of the world for a while.

The secondary love story is way better. Bri meets a valet named Vinny (Jag Bal)who actually shows an interest in her and looks like he actually likes her. Our first couple should take note. They do some flirting and the big reveal is that he’s not a valet, he owns the company which may or may not be a big company. They never really say. But for fantasy sake, I’ll say he’s loaded. This couple actually gets married at the end of the movie. They are of Indian decent and Bri’s wedding dress is a chic Indian gown that was really great. I’d like to see this culture explored more in these movies. They do celebrate Christmas in India. Let’s look into that. 

It feels like Hallmark had two OK movies and they decided to blend them together and make one janky movie. Bri and Vinny deserved to be the headline couple of this movie. Justice for Bri and Vinny!! 

This movie was also not a Christmas movie. It takes place in the winter and people go to holiday parties, but it is not at all about Christmas. This movie fails the substitution test that tells us that if the holiday of Christmas featured in the movie could be swapped out for another holiday without material changes in the plot of said movie, then it’s not a Christmas movie. Adding snow, or mountains is not enough. Christmas doesn’t even occur in this movie. Huh? 

There are no children in Holiday Crashers, despite having multiple pregnant women. Christmas joy is best seen through the eyes of children. Pretty single people don’t exude Christmas cheer like a kid.

The lawyer's TV advertisements were very funny. They played Sia’s song “Snowman,” which is one of the best Christmas songs ever made. 

At one point in the film someone says, “Well, she did save us $2 billion.” This is not a normal thing to say, or a reasonable excuse for a lie.

This is the second year that Hallmark put Lyndsy Fonseca in a terrible movie. “Where Are You Christmas? (2023) was dreadful. But she starred in the wonderful “Next Stop, Christmas” (2022), so I’ll keep rooting for her. Come on Hallmark, help a girl out. 

Cast Kudos: Credit to Jag Bal who plays Vinny. I need more Vinny. Genuine fella who you could bring home to the parents. 

Alternative titles: Everyone Got a Sitter and Went to a Party; Fake Lawyer for Winter; I lied about being a lawyer, but I’ll save you $2 billion anyway; No Kids Christmas.

Aired on HallMark Channel: Oct. 19, 2024; watched Oct. 20, 2024

Big Sky Lake release day! Jump in, the water is fine

Big Sky Lake is now released and into the world! This novel is the first story I set in Big Sky Lake, Montana, but hopefully not the last.

Paperbacks and Kindle versions are available on Amazon and should be delivered by Christmas if you order right away!

If you enjoyed the story, please drop a review on Amazon or send me an email at dankolbet@gmail.com. Thanks for your support!

See you in the book aisles.

Book Review: Meet Me in Another Life by Catriona Silvey

Catriona Silvey writes beautiful prose, but it’s too much effort to wade through when the conclusion is so unsatisfactory.

I have a theory about this story. Let’s call it the ‘mixed paint theory.’ Drop massive blots of paints on a canvas, then swirl them together with a brush in a massive, intertwined mess that’s completely unrecognizable. Some people call that art. Other people might recognize the plot line of Catriona Silvey’s Meet Me in Another Life, a massive mix of confused story that’s not worth the effort.

Recently, I heard the phrase “is the juice worth the squeeze?” The short answer for this story is no. No, it’s not.

Santini and Thora keep meeting each other over and over as different versions of themselves. Each chapter serves mostly as a short story, which in isolation may work for some people with a lot of time on their hands. They are lovers, siblings (meh), acquaintances, etc. If you wade through the tedium, you may recognize vague clues (read my mixed paint theory) that lead to where this story is headed—or ends up—can’t decide which.

My expectations for this story were high, which may be why I’m so annoyed about the payoff of this novel. Time travel (which this story is definitely not) and living a life again and again is a wonderful, fun experiment. The best modern example of this is Ken Grimwood’s Replay (1986) where the same life is lived again and again with decisions driving the plot and creating the consequences. In Meet Me, the decisions of the characters mean nothing. They just chat endlessly until, apparently, they run out of things to say and the pages of the book go dry and float away.

Dig deep enough, you might find meaning, but again, is the juice worth the squeeze?  

2/5 stars. Pass on this one.

Book Review: The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave

The Last Thing He Told Me may pass the time and be enjoyable if you don’t look under the rug to find where all the reasonable plot turns were swept.

I wanted to love this book, but despite being entertained throughout, there were a few plot points that came a bit too easy for me to give a full recommendation.

Our main character is new bride Hannah, whose husband Owen splits town when his company gets into some hot water. He leaves a needlessly cryptic note for Hannah (the last thing he told her)… Get it? He also leaves a big ole bag of cash for his extremely annoying daughter Bailey.

Hannah is great (really) and despite my concerns about the weak plotting of this story, she really shines as the reluctant step-mom, who while trying to find her husband, actually finds her own motherly instincts.  

OK, mild to complete spoilers ahead.

Hannah and Bailey fly off to Austin for the most paper thin reason (reasons?) imaginable to find Owen who definitely isn’t in Austin. Our author certainly wanted most of the book to take place in Austin and gave us a reason for them to go there. I needed a little more rationale to buy it, considering so much hung in this location.

The real reason Owen is missing is an info dump that was not rightfully earned. Hannah and Bailey stumble across the answer and boom—here are a couple pages that make all the previous speculation just a waste of time. I can forgive this, as it shifted the story, but again, it didn’t feel earned.

Question: If Owen was so smart, why did he only leave a one sentence note for his wife? Dude could not have planned ahead a little more? Come on. 

Bailey, oh Bailey. This girl was a caricature of every surly teen on the CW whose parents just can’t understand her and geez, I need more sleep and food and… ugh. Enough Bailey, we get it, you’re difficult.

And that ending. Nope. I don’t buy it and didn’t appreciate it. Our boy Owen is still in hiding? Give me a break. If we just ended with Hannah learning that she doesn’t need to be a biological mother to be the mother that Bailey needs, I would have been satisfied. What Owen did to these two women is frankly despicable and wholly unnecessary.

3/5 stars: Read with caution or a very unquestioning mind.

An Agreement We Made review by BookTrib

I’m very excited to share a review of An Agreement We Made by BookTrib. This review helped calm my nerves on a crazy publication day!

Stay-at-Home Dad Navigates Minefield of Family Secrets in “An Agreement We Made” Read the full review.

Book review: Goodnight Beautiful by Aimee Molloy

Goodnight Beautiful is a superb domestic thriller that will smack you in the face if you’re not paying close enough attention. And you’ll deserve it, too.

There were more “what the heck?” moments in Aimee Molloy’s Goodnight Beautiful that I can possibly recall. More than once I found myself stopping and re-reading a section to make sure that the twist Molloy just nailed me with was deserved or just a shady sleight of hand. It turns out each time was well deserved.

I’ve said it before—I love to be fooled and Molloy got me with this one. No spoilers here because you should experience it too.

Psychotherapist Sam Statler goes missing after recently returning to his hometown of Chestnut Hill, New York. Sam is recently married, something he and his wife of 13 or so weeks celebrate every single week. Newlyweds, right?

Sam is back in town to help care for his ailing mother and sets up a practice in town in the basement of a beautiful old home with some special quirks.

The journey to find Sam and who we as the reader are trusting, are the driving elements of this exceptionally crafted work of art. There are moments where some of the narration may seem needlessly tedious, but it’s certainly all done for effect and often with a sarcastic wit. One of our unreliable narrators is a real gem.

Some reviewers have (wrongly) compared this novel to one of Stephen King’s most famous works. Again, no spoilers, so figure it out yourself. I will say, King doesn’t own this idea any more than Molloy, who has definitely staked a claim for queen of this genre.

4/5 stars, recommended

Release day is around the corner; I'm pumped

I’m super excited to introduce you to my buddy, James Bell, next week in my new novel An Agreement We Made. James is a stay-at-home dad just trying to keep his three kids on the straight and narrow. Life isn’t so bad, if you don’t count his workaholic wife Tina, who earns a bundle, but physically and emotionally absent. When Tina suddenly dies, my guy’s life is turned upside down. Money – gone. Security – gone. But why? James sets off to figure out why his wife left him and the kids with nothing. The more he digs about his wife, the further he gets from answers.

This is a story about a modern marriage, the lies we tell ourselves to get through the day and the secrets we keep from everyone.